“Whatever path I was going to go down, whether it was a path of recovery or an incurable diagnosis, I would travel it with dignity the best I could.”
Nikki’s abdomen started to swell but she didn’t think too much of it. She figured it had something to do with her exercise routine. Eventually Nikki realised she looked pregnant, but high up in the abdomen and thought something wasn’t quite right.
“Over the course of two years, my tummy just seemed to get bigger. I put the tightness down to muscle, and I didn’t realise just how bloated I’d become. I visited my GP and she told me she didn’t like what she was seeing. She sent me for an ultrasound straight away and it turned out I had quite a large growth in my abdominal cavity.
“After an MRI scan, CT scan, etc… the news wasn’t great. Every test, every scan came back inconclusive. In the scans, they couldn’t see certain parts of my organs, this thing that was growing in me was huge, and it was growing quite rapidly.
“We wouldn’t know what we were facing until doctors opened me up. The growth was just too large. They couldn’t tell if it was stuck to anything.
“Blood results showed my ovarian cancer markers were high. This indicated the growth could be coming from my ovaries, but they weren’t sure. It looked like the growth had pockets and maybe even fluid in it. I was told to stop exercising immediately, just in case.
“I tried my best to carry on with my day-to-day life. To not focus on what was happening. Make peace with myself.
“On the day of my surgery, I was last on the list. Prep happens in the morning, so I had all day to think… and my mind started to wander. My future, everything, was unknown… At about 4 o’clock, I was taken down to theatre, and I remember lying there with tears booming out of my eyes.
“I didn’t know if I was going to survive the surgery, or if, in fact, they were going to open me up and then stitch me right closed just to say, ‘We’re sorry, there’s nothing we can do.’ Did I have cancer? I didn’t know what I was facing.
“Everyone was so amazing. The nurses, the anaesthesiologist and my surgeon. They chatted with me, comforted me. My surgeon asked me, ‘Why are you crying?’ I said to him, ‘I don’t want to die.’
“I was inconsolable. He told me, ‘Nobody dies on my watch.’ And I asked him, ‘Will you promise me one thing? Whatever comes out of me, will you take a picture of it?’
“We had christened the growth, Bernie… though I called it a lot worse at times! It took three people to lift, ‘Bernie’ out of me. Fully intact, it weighed about 26 pounds!
“I was quite a lucky lady. For the most part, the growth was free flowing in my abdomen, which considering the size of it, was quite unusual. The only area it was stuck to was my bowel. Which only needed some minor stitching then.
“Without gynae-oncology Nurse Sheila, I would have gone mad. I could ring her with any question. If I emailed her, she’d get right back to me. And Grainne, the wound specialist – she was amazing. I couldn’t fault any of them.
“A few months went by before I got a call about the lab results. I had a multiloculated tumour or giant mucinous ovarian cyst. It had encompassed one of my ovaries, and one of the pockets within it was borderline cancerous. But overall, I was lucky, my tumour wasn’t cancerous.
“The nurses and doctors in the Mater have been more than amazing. And without them, I don’t think I would be here. They all went above and beyond what anyone needed to.
“Now, I’m back to full health. I took up kickboxing and I like to go hiking. I do as much in life as I can. I get great solace from going cliff walking and just being out in the fresh air. And I’m so thankful for the people that were able to help me.
“I’m really looking forward to going to Marilyn’s Mater Paddle. To meet the people that are doing it for their relatives and those who had their own experiences. My surgery was the first time I was ever a patient at the Mater and the wonderful hospital staff who cared for me made the whole thing bearable. I’d never been more frightened of anything in my life and was so blessed to be so well looked after.”
-Nikki, Co Tipperary
You can join Nikki and take part in the sisterhood at Marilyn’s Mater Paddle this Sunday 24th May at the Shoreline Hotel, Donabate, County Dublin and help raise vital funds for Women’s Cancer Care in the Mater Hospital. Grab your spot today!